A Blessing in Disguise

A mother comes into my office furious after discovering that her teenage son has made some bad choices.

As we talk, she realizes that what her son is doing is a form of communication, expressing feelings he didn’t know how to talk about. Feelings that were hard for her to hear, and he was afraid to speak.

Being her therapist, I realize that I’m afraid, too, afraid to tell her that her words may be hurting her son. But when I do, I know it’s the truth. She pauses, then suddenly remembers how her own parents had treated her. And how much worse it had been.

As she wipes her eyes, I ask, “What did you want your parents to understand that they never could?”

Without hesitation, she states, “I’m angry at them, and now at him, because I felt betrayed. I have such a hard time with that. It’s tough for me to trust anyone. I fear it will happen again.“

Something softens—“Yeah… my son’s been hiding the truth because he’s afraid. Afraid that if he looked at himself, he’d lose my love. I do that too—but it was more complicated with my parents.”

Riding the wave of compassion and pain, my dear patient starts to see how she could respond differently, not with shame, but with honesty and love. She could talk with him about what’s happening, so he’d know he’s not alone in facing his fear. And know that her love was never in question.

I add, “Maybe then, he won’t need to cover up the fear in ways that will hurt him. Maybe knowing he’s not alone will help him face the fear, so he can see his gifts and share his light with others.”

As we take in each other‘s light and reflect on our own, something else becomes clear: she is afraid to trust herself.

Now she sees that the light is opening up a new door—one that makes room for her courage and gifts, so that others might see their own, instead of fear and aloneness.

Ultimately, what she and her son feared brought them closer together. And it helped me understand myself better, too.

Now it feels like a gift to all of us—a blessing in disguise!

Comments or questions? Email me at mcecilvt@aol.com. Feel free to share these words—and this blog—with anyone you hold, or long to be held by, in the light of invisibility.

Dr. Cecil is a licensed psychologist, certified AEDP supervisor, approved EMDR consultant, and senior CSRT consultant. He specializes in treating complex relational, developmental, and transgenerational trauma, bringing therapy to life through heartfelt stories and images of connection and healing that emerge from the light of invisibility.