Leading From the Core Self
Read or listen… and discover what becomes visible when we lead from the Core Self.
Read or listen… and see where this one takes you.
I often find myself writing about things I tell my clients as well as things I know to be true but need to integrate more into my work and life.
I often think of myself as more spiritual than religious, except when I don’t buy new underwear and socks—even when they’re quite holy.
But when I consider whether I’m leading from my Core Self, I pause and feel the presence of God…
Slowing down, I ask myself if my Core Self is present—shining a light of compassion and hope within and between.
If it feels right, check inside to see what these words light up for you—even a glimmer.
Yeah, it's like I always say, the experience comes first. Then you might connect some of the dots and know where it takes you.
And that may be nowhere. Yes, nowhere is often the best place to be. Sometimes I love hanging out at home.
And when I’m here… in presence, nowhere is somewhere. Less is more. But then again, less sometimes isn’t enough. Yet it’s better than nothing.
Now I know that I’m leading from my Core Self. I'm here in the moment as I write these words. I hesitate to say too much because I want you to have an experience… and I don't want to tell you where to go. Then you might tell me that, too.
I don't know the answer to all that you’re facing or struggling with, but I can accompany you in finding some of the answers inside yourself. I can see a lot of the light shining and will hold it until you do too.
Ask yourself: What does the wounded part need to hear that it didn‘t hear enough before, or at all?
That’s it... be patient and curious. Can you feel it now? Leading from your Core Self isn’t about pleasing someone else at the expense of losing yourself… and the other.
If you haven’t noticed yet, I'm leading from my Core Self right now. I found a place within myself where I struggle, and it's helping to inform what I need to do next—not taking me down the rabbit hole. That doesn’t help either one of us—not the most compassionate thing I can do.
Stay with your own little one as you stay with me… and you’ll know more.
That’s your growing edge… your power. You don’t have to figure everything out today… Tomorrow’s another day. The light will still be there—even when I’m not.
Right now I need to get some sleep. If I don't, I definitely won't be able to think about this work or help anyone else—especially myself. And you probably won’t want to hang out with me.
My sweet wife knows what my humor is about and tells me to be careful driving home. It’s a reminder of her love and what it would be like for her if I wasn’t here.
Me too… See where that lands inside of you. The puzzle is starting to come together. There‘s still more work to do but now you might be able to connect more as the adult mourning the loss instead of being blended with the younger part.
Having access to the Core Self allows me to untangle the grief.
Good reminder for all of us, I suppose. The deer I hit the other night coming home from work is a painful reminder of that, too.
Crap... that hurts, but in the moment it feels like I'm leading from my Core Self.
I feel bad that I collided with the pain of someone else. Perhaps the helpless fawn is still alone… but we don‘t feel so alone when they know I’m here—and really care.
Wow… I need to take a breath. That’s a big one.
I’m back home again. I hope you can feel it and be here too. Maybe there are some flowers starting to blossom. But if they’re already dropping off, at least you’ll know the season is changing.
And I’ll be holding the light of invisibility until you see them too.
I believe that leading from the Core Self will eventually take you where you need to go—becoming the person you were always meant to be—no one left behind… especially yourself.
Watch Dar Williams in the video below, and you’ll know even more. You see, we’re all the same… but we’re all different too.
Not just me. Not alone anymore—finally becoming more visible to myself.
Out of the darkness there’s always light… therapy to poetry to life.
Dedication: To all those on this journey of heart, moving from room to room, remembering themselves—and who we are together.
Gratitude: With appreciation for those who have shared their light and sweetness with me over the years—and received mine in return.
Confidentiality note: This piece was inspired by someone close to my heart, but is a composite of many people I know—inside and outside of therapy. Any resemblance to your own life or our shared experience is both coincidental and universal—reminding us that our stories echo one another in the fabric of human experience.
Comments or questions? You’re welcome to reach me at mcecilvt@aol.com. Feel free to share these words—and this blog—with anyone you hold close… or long to be closer to.
About me: Besides being a writer, Marc Cecil is a doctoral-level licensed psychologist, certified AEDP supervisor, approved EMDR consultant, and senior CSRT consultant. An experienced psychotherapist, supervisor, consultant, and teacher, Marc uses an integrated experiential model called Core Self Integration Therapy (CSIT)—grounded in our capacity for adaptive change—to help people heal from complex relational, developmental, and transgenerational trauma. Some refer to it as Elephant Work—standing solidly in the healing power of accompaniment.
Dr. Cecil lives in Vermont near the shores of Lake Bomoseen, where his heartfelt stories and images of connection arise from the light of invisibility—bringing life to therapy and therapy to life.
Stay tuned for more—as this living model continues to grow—with self-compassion leading the way around the world… and back home.