Many Great Companions
Join me on this journey… great companions heart to heart—through time.
Read or listen… and notice what it’s like to be human.
When I was a little kid, my dad would call me “smart eyes.” I didn't say much, but I didn't miss a trick.
It was a good skill to have in a family that looked safe on the outside, but I knew differently… and no one talked about it.
Since my mom was sick a lot, I wanted to become a heart doctor. Later on, I learned that her heart problems weren’t just physical but emotional as well... And that healing hearts could happen in many different ways.
For me, healing is about accompaniment and being a great companion.
Over the years, I’ve discovered that the kind of healing that sticks is more than just letting a person vent… like I did when I was a kid. It’s about sitting patiently, listening with your heart as you connect to your own and tune into the other—with your Core Self leading the way.
And at times, I gently redirect them, helping them lead from their own… knowing that less is more.
No matter what you hear or do, the heart is still our best listening device. When someone who is suffering can feel ours—and their own—it has a calming effect on them... and even more. This sets the stage for healing the aloneness that often stays stuck over the years.
Now I know that they know that I am with them, and we’re doing this work together—both of us changing and healing from the bottom up and the top down… and inside and out.
If you’ve been hanging out with The Light of Invisibility for a while, you may have a sense of what I mean. Maybe you’re starting to notice even more what it’s like to be human, and how this is happening for you. It’s who we are, but we don’t always recognize it… or have access to our Core Self.
Not all of the parts have to like me, but trusting myself, I welcome all of them in the room. I think of myself as the “dot connector.”
And then, they begin to experience what I see in them—like a big tree with branches reaching out like strong hands, holding the littles when needed. Trusting that even if they fall, they can get back up… even in a storm. Or feel those strong hands reaching down to scoop them up.
You might notice that high up in the tree, there’s a nest holding a large spool of thread. As we do our work, the threads start to unravel and get untwisted, connecting the dots in this great puzzle within our Museum of You.
Eventually, people learn to do it themselves. They can see that they learned one model to help them survive, but it wasn't a model that would help them be free to grow and thrive.
With my clients, I try to make it simple by having a common language. But it’s actually pretty complex as we try to untangle the meaning of what got wired in through time—so they can remember who they are now and who they were always meant to be.
Let's take Maggie, for example. Not her real name, but similar to many I talk with… and I'm sure some of you, too—even if you’re a therapist.
We’ve pulled a lot of threads over the years. And each time we do, we seem to find more holes and missing pieces. Or better yet, we discover some of the pieces we thought fit together are changing… and fit into a different picture now. She loves to sew, so she knows what I mean.
The picture seems to be getting bigger as we notice changes in her family… and she faces losses once again—old and new.
And now, the puzzle of her life looks like a beautiful tapestry. Even the places that had some big holes look different as we notice that we’re different, too.
It looks like there are multicolored threads of light weaving the holes together, connecting the fallen stars to the biggest star in the middle. I imagine a heart—our hearts… coming together as one.
Maggie even made me something by hand once that I’ve thought about a lot over the years. It comforted me and many of my clients when we were going through difficult times.
Later, when she was alone and going through some challenges of her own, I gave her a knitted afghan my wife had made. It felt familiar to both of us… and maybe to some of you.
Ooh… that’s a lot. Let’s take a breath together…
I wonder what you’re noticing as you see me leading from my Core Self and lighting up the path ahead. The elephants and a few other gems from my museum are by my side.
My hope is that maybe the light you see in me will help you see something special within yourself. I know in my heart it has always been there.
Then I’ve done my job. Just connecting the dots within and between—a simple country heart doctor, after all.
And like myself, I’m sure you have many great companions in your Museum of You. We just need to find the thread and connect the dots. Then, you can see the heart of love and humanness within yourself and around you.
It’s always there even when we can’t see it or feel it. That’s the big picture that can protect us… and help us find our way back home in the darkness.
In the moment, give yourself a gift. Let my words blend with the soulful music of Dar Williams… and linger in your heart.
“When they ask how far love goes… when my job’s done, you’ll be the one who knows.”
… A great companion to yourself and all of us.
Amazing… sometimes we amaze ourselves.
Dedication: To all those on this journey of heart, moving from room to room, remembering themselves—and who we are together, even when we feel alone or lost in a crowd… or don’t hear so well anymore.
Gratitude: With appreciation for those who have shared their light and sweetness with me over the years—and received mine in return. Here’s to all of you… raising my can of ōl brew as we sit together once again.
Confidentiality note: This piece was inspired by people close to my heart, but is a composite of many people I know—inside and outside of therapy. Any resemblance to your own life or our shared experiences is coincidental, yet perhaps not surprising. Our stories often echo one another in the fabric of human experience.
Comments or questions? You’re welcome to reach me at mcecilvt@aol.com. Feel free to share these words—and this blog—with anyone you hold close… or long to be closer to.
Challenge: Notice your growing edge and hang out there a bit. See what you notice and share it with someone close to your heart. You can sprinkle in a little Marc if you like. Better yet, share some of your own gifts, too. You've got it… It's in the bag!
About me: Besides being a writer, Marc Cecil is a doctoral-level licensed psychologist, certified AEDP supervisor, approved EMDR consultant, and senior CSRT consultant. An experienced psychotherapist, supervisor, consultant, and teacher, Marc uses an integrated experiential model called Core Self Integration Therapy (CSIT)—grounded in our capacity for adaptive change—to help people heal from complex relational, developmental, and transgenerational trauma. Some refer to it as Elephant Work—standing solidly in the healing power of accompaniment.
Dr. Cecil lives in Vermont near the shores of Lake Bomoseen, where his heartfelt stories and images of connection arise from the light of invisibility—bringing life to therapy and therapy to life.
Stay tuned for more—as this living model continues to grow—with self-compassion leading the way around the world… and back home.
Office address and phone: 65 North Main Street, Rutland, Vermont 05701, USA, +1 802-236-9512.