The Perfect Model
Let this one take you back home. That’s the light of invisibility—where you’ve always been.
Read and listen… my teaching and learning in a nutshell—so you can discover more.
When I think about being a therapist, I hold together all that I know with the people and models that have guided me.
There has always been something more I thought I was looking for. Some missing piece of the puzzle.
I finally discovered that the piece is me… my humanness. Pretty simple, but hard to admit, even when it’s right in front of us.
I’m not a model for people in the way some believe. I’m a model of imperfection—accompanying people as they begin to see their own.
The Core Self isn’t perfect. It’s just you—and that’s the big picture: the light sitting side by side with the darkness. It’s not that we’re bad or evil. It’s just what we had to do to survive—but it hurts us now.
When you sit with yourself and others without judgment—with compassion and kindness—you give them a gift. That’s the gift of your heart. And then, somehow, you receive the same in return.
That’s what love and healing are all about. It’s what makes change stick. The fertilizer inside that helps us thrive.
What would you feel about yourself if you didn’t believe you need to be perfect—or have a perfect model for fixing others?
You might realize what I do.
You’re different, too... not so bad. That’s the perfect model for all of us.
Good enough, I say…perfectly human.
Side by side… different and the same. Mutual respect and trust.
The perfect model… safe from the storm—knowing where home is now. It’s the obvious truth, no longer hidden in plain sight.
Look closely… Notice what happens within and between. Hold the hope… and you’ll be in the light of invisibility—no matter where you are.
Dedication: To all those who courageously hold—and are held by—others with their hands and hearts.
Gratitude: With appreciation for those who have shared their light and sweetness with me over the years—and received mine in return.
Confidentiality note: This piece was inspired by someone close to my heart, but is a composite of many people I know—inside and outside of therapy. Any resemblance to your own life or our shared experience is both coincidental and universal—reminding us that our stories echo one another in the fabric of human experience.
Comments or questions? You’re welcome to reach me at mcecilvt@aol.com. Feel free to share these words—and this blog—with anyone you hold close… or long to be closer to.
About me: Besides being a writer, Marc Cecil is a doctoral-level licensed psychologist, certified AEDP supervisor, approved EMDR consultant, and senior CSRT consultant. An experienced psychotherapist, supervisor, consultant, and teacher, Marc uses an integrated experiential model called Core Self Integration Therapy (CSIT)—grounded in our capacity for adaptive change—to help people heal from complex relational, developmental, and transgenerational trauma. Some refer to it as Elephant Work.
Dr. Cecil lives in Vermont near the shores of Lake Bomoseen, where his heartfelt stories and images of connection arise from the light of invisibility—bringing life to therapy and therapy to life.