The Right Words

~ I know the right words, Papa—they’re in my heart. You helped show me the way.
— Annie

We all have joy and pain in our lives. But sometimes get stuck in the middle—and feel lost.

We can't always find the right words to keep us on the path.

I imagine I’m sitting with someone close to my heart. You know who you are—either the patient, the therapist, or those who sit with either. It could even be yourself—and the lost ones inside.

I have an image of a child who felt that way a lot growing up. It wasn't safe for them to feel joyful, sad, or anything in between. Any feeling was met with something other than acceptance.

Instead, they were told, “What do you have to feel bad about? You have everything I never had. When you're happy, it makes me feel bad, too.”

There simply weren't the right words.

I try to stay above it, yet remain present—sensing how it feels and what the child needs. I want them to know that I care—and that I know they care too. To feel—helps us find the right words.

Even if they can't find the words to tell the child, I find them—and speak them aloud—to both the adult beside me and the child watching us.

Their eyes tell me immediately that they’re the right words.

To those listening now: sit back and notice—what do you hear in these words? Take all the time you need. What are the words you're hearing inside your heart and want to say?

(long pause)

They've always been the right words.

And even if no words come yet, the child can still hear—show them how you feel in your heart.

Let them know they live there now—and no one can hurt them anymore. They're home now. You are their guide—not a caretaker, but a caregiver.

I know that those are the right words the little ones have been waiting to hear—even when you’re on the fairy trail guided by a joyful child in front of you—or the one within.

As always, Yusuf / Cat Stevens touches my heart singing the song requested most by the people of Chile: "How Can I Tell You." It feels like a national anthem for the heart—a song we all need right now.

Feel free to sing along with me if you like. They’re the right words to say. They always were.

My granddaughter, Annie, knows them by heart.

Confidentiality note: All patient stories are composites and fictionalized to protect privacy and honor confidentiality. Similarities to your own situation are coincidental yet intentional, reflecting the universality of our human experience.

Comments or questions? Email me at mcecilvt@aol.com. Feel free to share these words—and this blog—with anyone you hold close or long to be held.

Dr. Cecil is a licensed psychologist, certified AEDP supervisor, approved EMDR consultant, and senior CSRT consultant. He specializes in treating complex relational, developmental, and transgenerational trauma, bringing therapy to life through heartfelt stories and images of connection and healing that emerge from the light of invisibility.