The Glue
In our fast paced world, the wires get tangled very easily. I hope these words help you slow down and remember what really matters.
As this tumultuous year comes closer to an end and a new one emerges, I find myself reflecting on the bigger picture—and on what my work is about.
Simply, I’d say it’s about finding the glue that connects us—inside ourselves and between one another.
Imagine people being like two big circles—maybe more. We come into relationship with one another, and sometimes mistake the idea of being one as closeness.
But without knowing who we are at our core—our Core Self—the connection gets tangled and doesn’t hold for long. It actually gets pretty messy.
Things don’t stick if we don’t have that larger sense of who we are—who we were born to be.
And when we try to come together without it, we don’t know how to live with our differences. We pull apart. Old child parts take over—parts that disconnect us from one another rather than bring us closer together and still be ourselves.
Regardless of our differences, I’m always looking for the glue—that inner connection that can say, “I’m glad you feel that way, and I hope it brings you closer to your truth.”
When I say that and mean it, I feel proud—not because I’ve given something up about myself, but because I’ve stayed connected to what matters most in me, while offering something real to someone else that they have always deserved to hear: they matter too.
That’s the glue.
That’s what actually sticks. That’s what I hope will stay with you.
Even though you might feel like running, don’t disconnect. There’s usually a little more that can keep the connection alive if we take the time to find it. We may decide to go our separate ways, but sometimes the little things make the biggest difference.
When I think about the light of invisibility, I imagine that we’re not alone anymore. We know who we are—and who we aren’t. And somehow, that’s always good enough.
Let us live in the light. That’s the glue.
We can’t change the past, but we can change our relationship with it—the meaning that got wired in from past trauma.
Although it’s tempting, don’t go completely AI or wireless. Take the time to write a real card—maybe even one you make yourself—and send it to someone who needs it and is alone, even if there are lots of people around them.
Don’t assume. We never know. We still need the wires—the connections. That’s what lets us know that we’re human—and that we’re together on this journey.
If it’s been too long, or you’ve never breathed the same air as your therapist or patient—or someone else close to heart—take the time to meet face to face. It will mean a lot to both of you—and to those who also need the connection, inside and out.
The ride to and from may be just what you need to help you remember where you've come from, who you are now, and where you’re going.
So on that note, what lands for you and brings you closer to yourself and others, including me—that you want to take with you into your life?
That’s your growing edge—where the glue sticks the best.
Happy Holidays to you and to those who live inside your heart. Trust your truth, the light within—no glitter needed.
That’s the glue that will really stick inside and between us, and for generations to come—the best gift we can give and receive this time of year—and beyond.
Gratitude: In appreciation of those who have shared their light and sweetness with me over the years—and received mine.
Confidentiality note: Any resemblance to your own life is both coincidental and universal—reminding us that our stories echo one another in the shared fabric of human experience.
Comments or questions? Email me at mcecilvt@aol.com. Feel free to share these words—and this blog—with anyone you hold close or long to be held.
Dr. Cecil is a licensed psychologist, certified AEDP supervisor, approved EMDR consultant, and senior CSRT consultant. He specializes in treating complex relational, developmental, and transgenerational trauma, bringing therapy to life through heartfelt stories and images of connection and healing that emerge from the light of invisibility.